Couple Counselling
Are You Looking For A More Meaningful Connection With Your Partner?
Do you feel stuck in a relationship or unhappy marriage that lacks respect, commitment or emotional connection? Are you always at each other’s throats because you can’t express yourself without conversations spiralling into arguments that never resolve anything? Do you ever feel so depressed, stressed out or alone in your marriage that you find yourself relying on people outside of your relationship for support?
Perhaps an emotional injury or traumatic experience is preventing you from connecting with your partner in the ways that you want. Or it could be that you’ve been the victim of infidelity, and the constant flood of mixed emotions makes you wonder if you can ever trust your spouse again. On the other hand, maybe you’ve had an affair and want guidance for repairing your relationship finding forgiveness in your partner.
Relationship issues manifest in many different ways for couples. Sometimes, the stress of work may be so great that you bring the hostility home and either lash out in a moment of weakness or withdraw to shield your loved ones. Conversely, maybe there is a certain level of resentment in your relationship because instead of being a team, it feels like only one person is doing all the work and making all the sacrifices. Or it could be that differences in parenting styles or uneven expectations for intimacy are fueling frustration and hopelessness that are eating away at your relationship.
Many couples naturally encounter challenges along the way, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship is broken or doomed. It just means that you need help learning how to communicate and resolve issues effectively. In time, the skills I offer can deepen your friendship, make you happier and help you feel safe knowing that your partner will be there for you.
Relationships Of Any Kind Will Involve Some Amount Of Stress
All relationships, especially intimate ones, eventually encounter some sort of obstacle or difficulty. It’s just a natural part of the human dynamic. After all, any time you bring two people together with different personalities, backgrounds and expectations, you are going to run into conflict occasionally.
And that’s okay because conflict in a relationship can actually be healthy if embraced in the right way. It can demonstrate self-advocacy, independence and personal growth. So it’s not necessarily the conflict that is unhealthy, simply the way we react and respond to it. Unfortunately, most of us were never taught how to communicate and resolve conflict peacefully. As a result, conversations often hit emotional raw spots that are met with criticism, defensiveness and frustration.
One of the biggest problems couples often face is the fact that we live in a culture that is so demanding that we ultimately fail to prioritize our relationships and self-care. For instance, parents are expected to work hard, be high achievers and support their partner—all while running the kids around and taking care of the essentials of life. Over time, that daily stress can pile up and let an emotional distance creep in between you. And if there is no emotional connection, then there is no trust or intimacy—only conflict and frustration.
The good news is that I can help you avoid common obstacles that couples face and teach you how to have healthy conversations that resolve problems instead of perpetuating them. With your commitment to positive change, I believe you gain a deeper understanding of each other that will lead to greater empathy, closeness and happiness.
Couples Counselling Can Help Bridge The Emotional Divide
When dealing with challenges in a relationship, the negativity and hopelessness can make you feel stuck, as if nothing will ever change. But with the support of a relationship therapist, you can both find ways of working together to mutually resolve issues, be more attentive to each other and communicate constructively. Most importantly, therapy enables you to share your heart and resolve your differences in a way that cultivates mutual respect, forgiveness and deeper emotional connection.
In our initial session, I’ll meet with you as a couple to generally highlight what it is that brings you in for help. Then, during our second session, I’ll meet with each of you individually to explore aspects of your background, how you both met and how you perceive the challenges in your relationship. Meeting individually allows each of you to be completely honest, giving us the chance to identify deeper aspects of any past experiences that may be influencing thoughts or behaviours in the present.
The primary tool I use for helping couples is the Gottman Method—often regarded as the golden standard in relationship counselling. It addresses all aspects of the relationship and gets to the core of the problem to help you overcome what is really going on underneath. Part of the process involves a comprehensive assessment that will help pinpoint strengths, weaknesses or relational needs that can help tailor the treatment strategy to the unique dynamics of your relationship.
Although the Gottman Method has a step-by-step therapeutic structure, I also understand that sessions need to be flexible. So if, for instance, particular challenges arise that you need help with immediately, we can tackle those on the spot. Conversely, if therapy reveals something that has created issues with trust—such as PTSD or childhood abuse— I can help you work through that on an individual basis as well.
My goal is to give you the tools, resources and confidence to overcome your relationship problems regardless of their origin. That could mean developing the skills to resolve conflict and communicate peacefully or learning how to cultivate a mutual, conscious empathy that enables you to understand who your partner is and where they are coming from.
Although you may feel lost or stuck, there is still hope. No matter the depth of your problems, couples counselling can teach you how to work together to sustainably improve your marriage. Just being able to communicate effectively and feel safe in your relationship is half the battle. Fortunately, with my help, you can generate greater closeness, understanding and compassion for one another while awakening a new, more empowered sense of who both of you are as individuals.
Perhaps you are considering couples therapy but still have some concerns…
I have secrets about our relationship that I want to keep from my partner.
I understand that it can be difficult to reveal painful—even potentially damaging—aspects of the past. However, secrecy is a poison that destroys relationships, and if I were to have access to information that your spouse doesn’t, then that would put our relationship on a different level. And that’s something that I ethically cannot do. However, therapy is a space meant for healing, not blame or judgment, so it is the perfect place to bear truths—even if they are complicated. If you want to be honest with your partner, yourself and your relationship, I can help you get there.
We went to couples counselling one time and it didn’t help our marriage.
Many people wait until their marriage is in crisis to reach out for help, which means they have become entrenched in old behaviours or negative emotions. Unlearning those old habits and replacing them with healthier alternatives is a process that naturally takes time. So therapy is like a journey with a guide who can help you overcome obstacles efficiently and interpret all things you don’t understand along the way. Though it may take a little patience, with my structured, step-by-step approach to healing, you can improve your relationship and learn to overcome future challenges on your own.
I just don’t know how we’re going to find the time in our schedules for sessions.
I know how hard it can be to justify dedicating time to self-care. But prioritizing your relationship now is one of the best things you can do for your happiness, health and peace of mind—especially if children are involved. Fortunately, I offer flexible scheduling hours as well as online couples therapy so you don’t have to worry so much about coordinating schedules, fighting traffic or finding childcare.
You Can Have A More Meaningful Connection
If you would like to learn valuable relationship skills that will continue to educate, empower and help you throughout life, please call 613 730 9634 for your free 15-minute consultation. I would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our approach to helping couples reconnect and heal their relationships.
***PLEASE NOTE, I DO NOT TAKE ANY NEW CLIENTS AT THIS TIME***
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